I want to remind you of what you already know. You are loved. When you are frightened it is good to breathe and give yourself a hug. Right now, I want you to close your eyes and take a deep breath. Forget everything that is happening in the world for an instant. Just focus on the in-breath. Pause for 30 seconds, and then breathe out. Repeat the process three times, and feel how the simple act of breathing in and breathing out reminds you that you are alive. Right now in this moment, every thing is fine. You are reading a newsletter, and you are breathing. Now turn your focus to your feet and notice they are still there. Notice your body is still here. You can breathe and you have a body. Give yourself a hug. You are amazing! And you are living an an amazing time with many incredible opportunities. Wow. We are all in a deep metamorphosis together, and who knows what it will be like when we all come out, but I suspect it will be beautiful.


I trained in color therapy, and color awareness has been a very important part of my spiritual awakening. Right now it is spring and if you can go outside, it is so lovely to see the many colors of the springtime flowers. Color acts as doorways into our True Nature. I invite you today to open to the color that calls to you today. Pink is the color of unconditional love, and you can begin there.

If you want to explore more, click the link below (Read More: Color Awareness) and you will find a whole rainbow to play with.

Color Awareness is a gentle way – perhaps a feminine way – to begin to engage the spiritual path. While men dive into the emptiness, women often play in the rainbow radiance. It takes time to discover who you truly are, but gradually the petals of the self reveal a most stunning design that is uniquely you. As the full flower of consciousness opens, gender identification falls away, the male/female energies merge and we discover we are One Love, One Peace, One Joy….

It is important right now
that we help as many people as possible
move beyond fear and step into love.
We are in a Great Awakening as one global family.

I have offered intuitive color readings since 1991. If you need an Awareness reading you can contact me via email: grailheroine@gmail.com.

I usually charge $200 for a 90 minute Awareness reading. I am currently giving intuitive readings for donation only, and free if the need is great.

Discover more about your colors by following the link below and clicking on any color box. There is a whole world of color play at your fingertips that awaits you.

Embracing What Is with Love
Know wherever you are on the planet
that you are loved beyond belief.

My heart goes out to those who are sick,
and to those who are dying right now,
to people who have lost loved ones,
and to those who are feeling alone
and isolated.

Please know, you are never alone.
The whole universe loves you
and is listening…

These are challenging times and when we are faced with difficulties, then we also have opportunities. It is time for us to realize that we are one global family. Are we vulnerable? When we are identified with being a human body, then yes, we are mortal and quite vulnerable. From the place of the persona we do need to have enough water and food, we need good air, we need good supplements, and to be able to exercise. We also need to be able to connect with one another. It is wise and intelligent to take care of our human needs to the best of our ability. Also, remember this…. we never die…

Our spiritual connection matters. Wherever you are in your conscious evolution, it is time to take your practices even deeper. In a way, we have all been told by True Nature to sit inside and take our meditation practices seriously. We can’t keep carrying around old stories, pain bodies and ignorance. We have to bust out of our belief systems, and get to what is real and true.

My husband – John Patrick Sullivan – and I responded to the emergency, by going inside and returning to our breath. For several weeks now we have engaged silent meditation often for six hours a day. For us it is a real luxury to be able to have quiet time to dive into the melody of silence. I am not sure I have ever felt the depth of this much emptiness, vastness and delicious spaciousness.

What surprises me when I come out of meditation, is that people are still upset. It grabs my attention too, and my mind grasps for answers. Meanwhile, there is a lot of disinformation, misinformation and conflicting information being shared. When there is a lot of confusion going on, it is best to enter the silence. From the place of the quiet mind, clarity emerges like a diamond. Then we can sit in inquiry together, and sense into what is real and needs our attention, and what is illusion. Self-Inquiry is known as the most steady and tested path to Self-Realization. If you want to find out more about Self-Inquiry or work with either myself or John Patrick, you can email me (grailheroine@gmail.com or JP on jpshivanand@gmail.com) and we will inquire with you. We are currently working on a donation basis due to the economic and health crisis. You can also find out more by listening to our recent podcast: Ego to Self-Realization by following the link below:

Freedom Though Meditation & Visualization

We are already free, if we can drop the labels and stories that bind us. The most tried and true way is meditation, and it is completely free. There are many ways to meditate. The easiest way is simply to follow the breath.

If your mind is anxious, you can add a visualization. Try this:


Imagine that there is a star two finger widths
below your belly and two finger widths inside.
It is your incarnation star,
the part of you that moves from lifetime to lifetime
without changing.
Imagine a golden thread extending from your inner star and
connecting to the core of the earth.
As you breath in, imagine nurturing qualities of the
inner core of the earth
pouring life force into your body, feeding
the flame of your inner star.
Breathe out, feeling warmth moving up your spine
as your kundalini or life force gently moves up
your body, out the top of your head.
connecting with the cosmic rays
of the sun, moon and stars,
then breathe the cosmic rays
back into your inner star.
Continue breathing in and out this way,
until you feel stable,
centered and located in this time and space.


If you love Cosmic Angelic connections, you might love listening to this Wisdom of the Ages podcast: “Super Angel” with guest Joanna Garvin Garzilli. Click below to hear the podcast:

Listen: Wisdom of the Ages “Super Angel” podcast


We are part of all there is and will be forever. What is lovely about meditation is that when we breathe with awareness, we realize we can never be alone for we are always breathing in and out with the universe. We are loved and cared for by an Infinite Wisdom always. When we realize our eternal nature, fear does not hold us so firmly. In truth, there is no death, only a shifting in and out of forms.

The spiritual paradox is that while we are eternal beings, the body does matter. We were given our precious bodies – like so many pearls – so that we can experience this time, space and dimension. We eternal spiritual beings having this earthly experience for a while. The trouble we run into is when we take form too seriously. When we identify with the body-mind, then we can get trapped in the pain body, and then we suffer. When we feel fearful, contracted and helpless we can believe that life is suffering. The Buddha is quoted saying: “Life is suffering – for the unenlightened.”

We are being invited into a collective enlightenment. On the simplest level, when we recognize the light of our inner star we have made our first step toward full enlightenment. The fear, loneliness, powerlessness and darkness that we might have identified with begins to fall away like autumn leaves in the wind. As the light comes on inside, the labels and stories we have told ourselves no longer fit. At that point we begin to blossom into our True Nature.

We are not the past,
and the future has not arrived.
We reside in the present moment,
which paradoxically
has the potential of the universe
inside of it.
We are already FREE!

If you love this message, and want to hear more. Please listen to my most recent podcast with Dr Gabriel Cousens called “Holistic Liberation.”

Link to podcast: Holistic Liberation

Wisdom of the Ages Podcast
Spirit can make requests that seem unreasonable,
and yet I do my best to respond.
I am happy to share that I listened and in autumn of 2019,
started a podcast called Wisdom of the Ages.

Wisdom of the Ages

has been an enormous success. Just this month my podcast received over 157,000 downloads with listeners in over 90 countries around the world. Clearly, there is now an interest in consciousness and spirituality!

This is the first newsletter I have sent out in quite a while. In the autumn of 2019, I felt the instant urge from spirit to begin recording and was very busy learning a new way of sharing sacred storytelling. At first the guidance seemed rather unreasonable. I kept asking in meditation what the urgency was, and now it is making sense. These shows needed to be live and ready to listen to!
It all stated last summer when Tonya Dawn Recla, president of the SuperPower Up network, invited me to become one of the hosts. I gave 64 interviews last year on a variety of radio, television shows and podcasts about my best-selling Legends of the Grail series. I felt the sacred stories were important, feeling that the voice of the feminine needed to be honored once again. Our culture has been focused on domination over nature way too long, and now we have the opportunity to shift into a more balanced way of being. Because I did so much public speaking last year, becoming host of my own show made sense. However, I wasn’t certain. I told Tonya there was no way I could make the shift into the age of technology. I have been someone who loved crawling in and out of ancient cairns and clambering around stone circles. I think of myself as a Bard and guardian of many Wisdom Traditions. However, spirit had something else in mind. I have been involved in the consciousness movement for 35 years and have worked with spiritual teachers from all over the globe. Eventually I acknowledged that I could bring a lot of these people together and share a great deal of spiritual wisdom. Tonya was thrilled that I decided to step up and join the SuperPowerUp team. After a few mind-melds, the Wisdom of the Ages podcast birthed itself.

I have recorded thirty podcasts
with uplifting spiritual teachers,
empowerment leaders and yogis.
It has been important that all voices are heard
so that we can find wisdom in diversity.
For that reason you will find
people from many different traditions
sharing about what they love the most.
I love the uniqueness of each voice,
and also the unifying consciousness
behind all of the shows.

Podcasts are a way of making friends all over the planet.

It truly is time for us to end the polarity that has troubled humanity for too long, and step into unity consciousness. Yes, we are all unique, but we share the same globe and ultimately we are One. Follow the link below to see the shows currently airing.

May you find freedom during this time,
wisdom, and understanding.
May you remember that you are love,
and share that love with others.
May you remember that you are peace,
and share that inner stillness
with those who need a refuge in the storm.
May you remember that you are joy,
and that fear is only a passing emotion.

You are love, you are peace, you are joy,
and you are already free.

Much love & many wellness blessings,




Summer News

For many years I have experienced an inner calling to return home to the Blue Ridge Mountains. Perhaps my ancestors have been prompting my return, or it could have been the horses wishing for green grass that made me actually make the move. I also have a deep love for trees and perhaps they wanted me to rest amongst their roots and branches once again gazing at the skies and remembering the mysteries that my wild inner child still loves. It might have been that unseen forces wove the next phase of my path in this way. However it happened, my husband and I responded.

We moved up a gravel road into a conservation area where life is full and the land is alive with greenery and wildlife. I love living near a lake and hearing the trickling creek, the croaking of frogs and the orchestra of a multitude of insects and songbirds. We are meant to rise and sleep with the sun. As I have slowed my pace, I have started to realize that the real news is to be found when the mountain rumbles and speaks. The news of the universe is very interesting, much more so then the tangles we humans tend to get ourselves involved in. Yet as romantic as it sounds, I didn’t realize that after a storm we could lose our landline, cellphone and internet signals, and that storms happen most afternoons these days. Stepping back in time has taken some adjustment. There have been weeks when I have had to drive forty minutes into town to receive emails and make phone calls. It has definitely made writing newsletters difficult, and speaking on radio shows has been precarious, but I have had plenty of time to finish my novel. Nimue: Freeing Merlin is coming soon!

New novel coming soon…




Embracing the Mythic Imagination

8bc7f536701b46de8c3393acd6c6c97fMyths and legends are told over centuries so that the torch of wisdom can be carried from one generation to the next. The stories might be imagined but, although names might change, the archetypes generally remain the same. In most tales we meet the initiate, the hero/heroine, the challenger, the friend, the sorcerer, and hopefully a wizard or wise one. Behind these archetypes there are sources of wisdom that call to us, reminding us to awaken to the creative powers that are inherently ours. We might have made a mess of this planet, but the same forces that have been here since the beginning of time are still amongst us and can assist us. It takes some dedicated work and a lot of inner guidance to weave these ancient strands back together again. The illustration here by Belle Crow duCray is of Brighid, meaning “the exalted one” who appears in the last story of Legends of the Grail: Stories of Celtic Goddesses. Brighid is one of the most enduring deities, who continues to hold an eternal flame for humanity.

It might be that everyone and everything is the product of a greater imagination — and that is good news. Our egos have a hard time believing that anything is greater than we are, but when we align with our True Nature, then we can enjoy the evolutionary unfoldment. Of course we need to change our ways, but what we really need to do is climb on our flying reindeer – or broomsticks – or flying carpets – and ride the new waves. Every night we dream, and every day we awaken back into this reality. Once we discover the essence of our True Nature, then the shackles of limitation fall away, and the essence of life becomes an exciting adventure.

Listen to audios



How do we begin to dream consciously?

d47647d7b1914eea9740f3fc0d1d3e0eLearning to enter the mythic imagination takes practice. We can begin by keeping a journal by our beds and recording our dreams. That is a sign to our psyche that we are taking notes of the dreams and visions that are being sent to us. We can take our shoes off and stand on the Earth, and actually feel the living soil beneath us. We can sit with our backs up against a stone or a tree, recognizing that everything is alive, and — with great respect — ask to see the world from their perspective.

There is a living language of trees called the Ogham. There is some controversy over the age of the language and its authenticity, but it seems to me intuitively that it is a very ancient language. It makes sense to me that the people who lived in forests and had to survive there would understand the trees. The Birch trees would grow first to prepare the soil for the forest that was arising. Even now when we are beginning a new project it is wise to go sit with our backs against a Birch and seek wisdom. Trees do not usually speak, but they can send us a dream or vision. As we age, we might ask an ancient Yew how one generation feeds the next, and then await a dream of eternal life.

The illustration here by Belle Crow duCray is of Arianrhod, a Welsh deity who appears in Heroines of Avalon & Other Tales. Arianrhod is pure magic, and when we tap into her we might just remember the songs of the stars and how to step into a culture of life.

I invite you to turn off your phone and take some time in nature. Allow your inner wild child to come forward and just let yourself play in the leaves that are now beginning to turn as the autumn days approach. If you feel called to the Celtic worlds, my books in the Legends of the Grail series contain many visualizations, practices and poems designed to lead you back in time and find the roots that can sustain you even during a great storm. If ever we needed the wisdom traditions it is now.

It is grand to know that all we seek is never further away than our own heart and soul. We are never alone, and will always be carried throughout space, time and dimension. All we have to do is remember our many friends and allies, and feel the rhythm of our wings.

Purchase the Legends of the Grail Books



Good News from the Publishing World

I am so happy to share that Heroines of Avalon & Other Tales has been an Amazon Best Seller this summer. The book has won nine literary awards, including gold badges with IPPY, NIEA and COVR, and a silver with Nautilus and CIPA. It was chosen as the top IRDA fiction choice of 2019. Heroines of Avalon was chosen as one of the top books of the summer by The London Post. It has received many five star reviews including one from the San Francisco Post. Dart Frogs Book Club chose Heroines of Avalon as one of their three top books. Heroines of Avalon was chosen out of many books to be on the cover of Publisher’s Weekly, which is super PR! The paperback version will be available in about a month.

Follow this link to read about
Heroines of Avalon & Other Tales
in the San Francisco Review of Books:

Legends of the Grail: Stories of Celtic Goddesses has gone into its fifth printing is being made into an audible book, which should be out by November. A Story of Becoming is going into another printing, and The Rainbow Dragon’s Emerald is preparing to launch February 1st. We have delayed the publication of this book because I have wanted to shift to FSC sustainable printing. It makes sense that this children’s book about saving the world would require a shift in the way we print books.

I was invited on 64 radio shows and podcasts this year.
You can listen to some of the interviews here:
– and –

As the autumn leaves turn bright colors and begin to fall, I am preparing to return to Britain to delve even further into the Celtic mysteries, and will also be visiting Grail Temples and other sacred sites near Prague.


Thank you for being a wild traveler.

May the journey take you home

– to your True Nature.


Ayn Cates Sullivan

Interview with the London Post


Debbie DiPetro Blog Interview

August 17, 2019 Uncategorized

Debbie DiPetro Blog Interview about the creation of the Legends of the Grail Series.

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Ayn’s Newsletter Spring 2019 – “The Goddess of Sovereignty – Claiming Dominion Over Our Body/Mind”

May 21, 2019 Uncategorized

The Goddess of Sovereignty Image – A Woman’s Choice

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Ayn’s Newsletter February 2019 – “Flying With The Deer”

February 2, 2019 Uncategorized

A WILD WOMAN WHO FLIES WITH THE DEER Portrait of “Elen of the Ways” by Belle Crow duCray. In the Celtic tradition, kings and heroes must honor the Great Queen or Sovereignty Goddess in order to find unity with the land and community. My idea behind the “Legends of the Grail” series was that the […]

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Blessings from Trees

August 22, 2018 Poetry


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Blessing the Earth Ayn’s Summer Newsletter 2018

August 2, 2018 Uncategorized

August 1st is Lughnasadh Lughnasadh is a day to celebrate the abundance that the Earth provides for us. Today many people in the Celtic world make a meal to celebrate the harvest and the life giving feminine energy that sustains us. With the changes that are taking place now on the Earth, it is wise […]

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The Many Faces of the Goddess

May 1, 2018 Uncategorized

There is one subject that really lights me up without fail. Any mention of Grail legend and you have my full attention. What is the Grail? The Grail is a symbol that means different things to different people, and some people swear it is a physical object. The image pictured here is the Vesica Pisces […]

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Write Because You Have To

September 27, 2017 Spiritual Inspiration

If I could offer ONE tip or piece of advice for an aspiring writer, I would say – BE AUTHENTIC – find your voice. In the beginning, aspiring writers need to learn as much as they can from well-known and established authors. It is wise to take time to read the classics, and immerse yourself […]

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Indie Publishing

September 19, 2017 Spiritual Inspiration

PLEASE PUBLISH MY BOOKS… When my daughter called from college to ask me if I would publish the children’s books I had written for her as a child, I was intrigued. I wondered why college students would want the stories I had written for my children? “My friends are depressed and they need the messages […]

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